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Basic DescriptionEdit

Another type of powerful artifact originating from the dark and cold depths of intergalactic space, Shoney Bears are the small offspring of anthropomorphic bears from the planet Yiff in the Triangulum Galaxy, a world of what a furries' utopia would look like, populated entirely by animals with human characteristics including the bear itself.

However, when a full-scale war between the people of Yiff and the moons of Equestria (the Brony gas giant) breaks out into utter chaos, push turns to shove when the Bronies manage to obliterate the planet Yiff by using the magic of friendship, or some shit.

Shortly before this however, the descendants of the legendary Mother Bear queen on the continent of the planet known only as Ursa manage to use their combined cancerous super abilites to blast away from Yiff into uncharted space before it's imminent destruction.

The bears flew at speeds many trillion times faster than the speed of stupid and eventually manage to pop out of their home galaxy and in the direction of the milky way galaxy some three million light years away. Upon approach of the orion spiral arm, they set course for an untypical forest-ocean planet known as Earth and all land in Charleston, West Virginia in the year 1947, where Alex "Shoney" Schoenbaum just so happened to be opening a drive-in restaurant but was in need of an adorable mascot to entertain children. All 5 million bears crash land near his house in a convenient pile, however he treats them as nothing more but stuffed toy bears, and takes them in as the mascot character of his new restaurant.

By this point, the Bears are petrified in fear from witnessing the destruction of their home planet and are completely immobile due to PTSD.

As a side-note, the story that the bear became the mascot after law-suits for mascots in sister companies is actually a conspiracy perpetrated by the gay liberals, idiot.

21st Century Edit

On the 22nd of August 2017, Hana, Reds and Pew Review were returning home from the solar eclipse when Red was pissing of Hana because he was sick of her saying "Shoney's!" every time they passed one along the road, and that every time she would do it, she would owe Red a booty pic. Hana objected, and the rest is history.