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Basic Description Edit

Although not as powerful as the Great Gay Hat of Darkness, the Nikon P900, also known as the "Truth Detector 9000", is definitely far more holy and is clearly the most cherished artifact in the observable Universe. It was made by the Nikon corporation in association with God to create the most red-pill camera anyone on the flat Earth has ever seen before. It is bestowed with the ability to detect freemason lizard-people's diabolical schemes from miles away and, due to it's stockpile of vinegar housed in a small extra-dimensional portal next to the image sensor, is totally immune to the negative effects of chemtrails on human skin tissue.

Supernatural Abilities Edit

It can zoom in. A lot.

It can determine actual distance to an object even when all other devices are providing false measurements.

It has the ability to see cloaked aircraft that would normally be hidden from view.

Finding the curve of the Earth... NOT!!!

(to be continued...)

P900 Worship Roster Edit

Sunday- Why are you not praying to God you unworthy heathen?! It's the Lord's day! Make room for Jesus!

Monday- 7:00 UCT- 8:00 UTC

Tuesday- (Day of Rest; or Lord and Savior: Jeranism wills it to be so.)

Wednesday- 9:00 PST- 12:00 EST

Thursday- 15:25 UTC- 25:15 UCT

Friday- Five separate (but equal) 15 minute periods of the owners choice towards the nearest horizon-line.

Saturday- 0:01 UTC- 23:59 UTC

Flat Earthers on the Nikon Coolpix P900 Edit

Scumbag P900 flat earth

List of Known Owners Edit

Reds Rhetoric

Wolfie 6020

Soundly

Steven Gleave

Dazzathecameraman

Hillel Finder

Anthony Riley

Satan

(to be continued...)

(No one really "owns" a P900... they just allow themselves to be used by their parishioners. -Steve McRae)