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Basic Description Edit

Jade, if that is even her real name as who the hell is named after a rock, has read more books in her life than any single human being on this or any other planet. Jade primarily uses her extensive amount of knowledge in defense and the building of countermeasures to protect her from her psychopathic cat "Freddy" who is constantly trying to kill her in order to quell his insatiable blood lust for human sinew.

Jade also steals WiFi from the Motel 8 located just close enough to where she lives to give her 1 bar of signal strength. This unfortunately results her losing connection or going robotic in hangouts every time a room door is slammed whenever a crack whore is having a fight with her pimp.

Faith and Belief Edit

Roman Catholic (Unless you ask G Man) and theistic evolutionist.

Super Powers Edit

  • Infinite volubility
  • The ability to research 14 different things simultaneously
  • The ability to talk at length on any given subject for hours on end (especially if it involves science, history, theology, or any story from her life)

Most famous quotes: Edit

"Shut the fuck up JD!"

"Goddammit, Freddy!"