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South Park - Mr

South Park - Mr.Garrison's Evolution Theory

Not to be confused with "Evolution".

Basic Description Edit

"Evilution" is the fairy tale for grown-ups created by Darwinist Evolutionism-ists, which is just a conspiracy to keep Jesus' prayer out of school and teach kids that morality is subjective and there is no God. There are 6 types of evilution, but the first 5 are not science because they have never been observed.

"Six Types of 'Evolution'" by Dr. Kent Hovind

Because of this, it is a secular naturalistic atheistic religion created by Satan, worshiped and believed on faith by heathens, sodomites, Catholics, God-haters (atheists), and sinners, being indoctrinated into good, vertically challenged, innocent, good little God-fearing Christian children by lies in the public school textbooks and "non-true" Christians.

The Different Stages of Evolution - Kent Hovind

The Different Stages of Evolution - Kent Hovind

It teaches that "nothing" exploded in space creating "something". Then life came from a rock, evolved in to a monkey which then gave birth to a dog. Then, over millions of years, the dog evolved the ability to see, found someone to marry, and turned into a non-dog. Then that non-dog became a person, leaving behind no intermediary fossils except for the Crocoduck.

Things that Debunk Evilution Edit

Of course, all of this impossible because Creationist ScienceTM has taught us that, among other things, one kind of thing can never turn into a different kind of anything else. Also...

Evilution is just a theory, not a fact...

The second law of Thermodynamics...

Macro-evilution cannot be observed or proved because it is in the past, which is only "Historical Science"...

While Micro-evilution can happen, since they are small changes, Macro-evilution cannot since the small changes cannot add up over time, because reasons...

Evilutionists are just God-hating atheists who don't wanna be judged for their sins...

It can't be true because survival of the fittest was the motive behind Hitlerism, Stalinism, Nazism, communism, eugenics, everything that is evil, etc...

Evilution must not be true or else it would mean that humans came here by mere chance and have no purpose or meaning in life...

It goes against scripture...

Belief in evilution causes crime, racism, etc by making people behave like animals...

Mutations don't add anything new and are never beneficial...

We don't evolve wings when falling from great heights, nor gills when drowning...

Genetic information always decreases...

Every example of evilution is losing something which isn't evilution, it's de-evilution (aka devil-ution)...

Life cannot come from non-life...

Spontaneous generation has been disproved...

Life doesn't emerge out of peanut butter...

Something cannot come from nothing...

Heavy elements cannot form...

The fossil record doesn't exist...

Galaxies, stars and planets cannot form via evilution...

Evilution doesn't explain everything, including gravity...

Irreducible Complexity...

Everything is just too complicated...

Everything coming about by chance is impossible and improbable...

Everything just looks designed...

Everything happens for a reason, an undisputable law known by common sense that is violated by evilution...

"New" Intelligent Design/Creationism is real science...

Cdesign proponentsists do important science stuff...

Carbon dating doesn't work...

If man evolved from monkeys...

"I donut wanna be a dang monkey"...

We don't see any humans living in the zoo...

Chimpanzees don't give birth to humans...

According to evilution, the first human male needed to wait millions of years for a suitable mate to appear, which is impossible...

It takes more faith to believe in evilution...

We all have the same evidence, we just interpret it differently...

Evilution can't explain how bees fly...

The banana is intelligently designed...

A painting needs a painter, a building needs a builder, and an organism needs an orgasmer...

No transitional fossil has ever been discovered. Every presumed fossil is either just another variation of a modern animal or is a forgery...

The crocoduck doesn't exist...

"Nothing" can't explode and create everything...

All supposed evidences for evilution are fraudulent, concocted by the great evil-atheist, secularist, God-Hating, anti-Christ conspiracy...

Evilutionists changes their minds all the time about what the science says, while God's truth doesn't change...

We are living in the 21st century, not in the year 4.5 billion...

Humans and frogs cannot interbreed...

"You weren't there"...

"...90% of [all dating methods] contradict billions of years"...

"Billions of dead things, buried in rock layers, laid down by water, all over the Earth"...

Dinosaurs and humans lived together...

Natural Selection can't create anything...

Evilutionists don't know where the matter/energy in The Big Bang came from...

(more pending)